Women are united in finale....NOT

Starting out the new year on the right foot, the Friends and Neighbors Hearts Club converged on founder and president Beth's house on the third Saturday of the month.  Expectations were not very high after the piss poor attendance figures were released for the December meeting but the traffic jam and valet parking gave indications that this month's meeting could break all previous attendance records.  After slipping a neighborhood kid $10 bucks to watch his car, Dan entered the arena house declaring "I didn't bring enough score sheets!" While attendance was at an impressive 15, turns out the excess number of cars that caused the parking problem was for an event at the school and not for the monthly battle to establish hearts supremacy.

Seeing there would be four tables, Mark knew that he would have to adjust his normal strategy that has led to so many past victories.  A seat at the victor's table via the tainted victory route was out and he knew it was unlikely that the stars would be aligned so that he could pull off the controversially legendary Super Taint ( http://lisleheartsclub.blogspot.com/2010/07/hearts-101-mastering-super-taint.html ).  Who knows what type of shenanigans this club is willing to accept? There was an unconventional three handed finale last month!!!

As the contenders were separated from the pretenders in the preliminary rounds, some of the also rans started to talk about how playing with other first round casualties in a meaningless game would be more enjoyable than playing for the coveted trophy.  "Poor Dan, he has to play for the trophy while we get to play with each other" (hey now!).  Sour grapes can leave a bad taste in the mouth boys.

The trophy was all but being handed to Sue as she built what appeared to be an insurmountable lead but in an unlikely turn of events, Jan and Terri appeared to abandon the "I am Woman hear me roar!" united front and throw the victory to Dan.  Not to worry though, a champ is only a champ for 4 short weeks and then the title is back up for grabs.  

Attendance down, no gift exchange...and a threesome?

We have all heard the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Although there has not been an overwhelming clamor for a resumption of the blog, one little comment by Beth was enough to inspire an early morning re-cap of the annual Christmas Hearts game at the Dichter's. Proving once again that varying from the 3rd Saturday of month never pays off, the crowd was down to a dismal 10. Long entrenched regulars chose to play poker with old buddies (Steve), play Bunco with "real" friends (Toni), sing songs to old lonely people (Lisa) or assume that the game was on the third Saturday of the month (imagine that!) (John). The awkward configuration resulted in one table of four and two tables of three.

While three people at a table is not ideal or preferred, there was no need for any special accommodations since Toni was with her true friends. As you recall Toni has a lifetime exemption from playing at a table of three. Refer to this excerpt from the March 2009 entry: "One other interesting tidbit from the evening: the refusal of Toni to play at a table with anything other than 4 people. Everyone thought Dan was the psycho about playing with 4....turns out that we were so taken aback by the balls it took to even suggest this that we all accepted her terms and apparently she has a lifetime exemption."
   
As the prelim games progressed, a strategic play by one of her opponents prompted Cindy to quietly state "If I was Debbie I would call you a turd". Andy and Dan simultaneously chuckled at the memory and shuddered at the thought of being the target of Debbie's rage. How can anyone forget that night? Let's take another nostalgic journey through a previous blog: "Debbie, possibly feeling liberated as the hostess of the evening, silenced the room when she declared: "you are a TURD!!" Stunned, we all glanced down at our cards awkwardly praying it was not us that had spurred her to such an outburst." Author's note: Shortly after Cindy's comment, what was heard coming out of the other room? You guessed it! "You are a Turd!!!"

Thankfully we are Toni's second level friends because I can not for a moment think how she would have reacted to the decision to play a three handed championship game but that was the decision. Beth deftly dodged points and dominated the outmatched Andy and Mark to take the trophy. While no one disputed that the trophy was rightfully hers, there was some shock and disbelief at her unwillingness to "man up" and prove her true hearts superiority by putting the trophy back up for grabs in the subsequent 4 handed game that Dan joined. Sensing that the non stop, testosterone tainted comments regarding the trophy may somehow come to be, Beth excused herself from the table, grabbed the trophy and hid it in her car. As she returned with a sly smile on her face you had a feeling she was thinking "If you think I am going to be sucked into your macho "mine is bigger than yours" male mind games you got another thing coming...LOSERS!" Congratulations Beth, the trophy is yours.

Hearts 101 - mastering the Super Taint

Long known for coining the phrase "tainted victory", Mark had set his goals high for the year.....to win every trophy (or as many as he could ) this year to prove to the group who really is the force to be reckoned with when the group gets together each month. There is one simple rule to winning the trophy.....you actually have to make it past the qualifying round and be at the championship table in order to have a chance to win. That is until Mark somehow managed to figure out how to bypass this simple rule. You must be thinking: how is that possible? Here's how he pulled it off. Combining a lackluster performance of his own in the first round with a qualifying effort by his wife, he then made a suggestion that was so outrageous that before anyone could really figure out what was actually happening it was too late: Mark replaced Debbie at the winner's table.

As Mark steadily took the lead, he kept referring to his previous round score of 101 as some sort of a sign. After all, he shouldn't even be playing for the trophy since he had played so poorly in the first round. Yet, here he was schooling his so called "competitors" in the finer points of hearts. I believe he referred to himself as the "professor" and that he was teaching us "Hearts 101". Mark did win the game for the trophy fair and square but I find it ironic that the inventor of the term "tainted victory" could take it even a step further. Not only did he not win the first round to earn his spot at the championship table, he did not even qualify for a tainted victory, therefore earning the new title of SUPER TAINT. Next time you hear Rick James belting out his mega hit I suggest these new lyrics:

He's a super taint, super taint

He's super tainty, yow,

Super taint, super taint!

The drought is over, Cindy conquers all

Feeling the pressure of not winning the trophy in oh so long, Cindy could barely show her face, preferring to peek around other people's midsections so as not to be seen. Her last victory was the 3rd of the never before achieved 3 consecutive wins way back in 2007. Despite Lisa holding out at 98 points for 10 hands and Steve and Dan both thinking they had the prelim round won when they were tied at 15, Cindy quietly held on for the win to advance. There was some thought that her strategy involved getting up every 5 minutes and leaving the table. Dan observed that she never cut the cards for his deal once since she was never sitting down.

Andy held off a fierce twosome of Teri and Sue at the table of three to advance while Beth and John advanced to the finals to set up a match between Cindy, Andy. John and Beth. The battle raged as the 4 quality players tried to take advantage of Mark's absence knowing with his commitment to victory this year February may be the only chance to win. After 10 hands the scores were tight: Cindy and Beth at 63, Andy with 58 and John 47. Five hands later with Beth and Cindy in the 90's and John and Andy in the 70's the boys knew it would be one of them tasting the sweet nectar of victory. That was until the male ego driven "I'm not going to stop her from shooting, you do it" attitude let Cindy shoot the moon and seal the deal. Sometimes you get the cards and it is almost impossible to lose. This was not the case on this night as Cindy had to work hard in both games and finally could show her face again with pride. Congratulations.

Mark wins!...I'm not making this up!

With a New Year's resolution firmly committed to, Mark went after his preliminary round opponents like a man on a mission, knowing the only way to fulfill his resolution of winning the trophy every month was to get to the finals table. If he had to read one more blog entry about DD (Doyle Domination) he was going to puke. I know in some people's world (Toni) DD stands for Double Dutch but that is not the case here. Giving Dan the queen every chance he could, Mark cruised through the first round with little resistance. Phase 1 of the goal was in place.

Having made the finals table, the question now was how would Mark handle the pressure (psychological, not water)? With Cindy, Steve K. and Beth as the others battling for the trophy he knew that on the surface it could be a challenge. As soon as Cindy started talking about the fact that the goal really is to get to the finals table but not necessarily winning the championship (i.e Buffalo Bills in the 1980's) he knew that in her mind she had already had a successful evening and he only needed to worry about BS (Beth and Steve). Much like the first round, Mark dominated the opposition and cruised to victory. One down and 11 to go Mark, congratulations.

Double click on photo for larger view (that is flooded Community Park, taken from the High School parking lot)

Holiday Hearts, grab bag

The Dichter's hosted the annual December holiday hearts-fest...an evening filled with food, drink, cards and the annual gift exchange grab bag. The white elephant theme was retired (apparently Mary and Mike were tired of finding miscellaneous crap around the house for 2 weeks after the party) and replaced by a ornament / decoration themed grab bag. This new exchange was overwhelmingly chosen via the blog's poll last month. Wait...that wasn't even an option. Due to a poor showing at the polls (6 votes, about half by John), the hosts chose the theme and we all complied. Way to take charge.

As you can see from some of the photos, if the thought was to avoid crap being left behind, it was a failure. If the goal was to have a lot of laughs, crazy comments and a good time had by all, then it was a success. Not sure how much of the stuff stayed behind, but it was a small price to pay for the enjoyment the exchange appeared to bring to all. Nice job Mike and Mary.

As for the card playing.....we had 4 full tables. There would be no tainted trophy on this night. While two tables finished in a timely manner, there was some question whether the other tables were playing to 200 or perhaps 500 based on the time to completion. Everyone was assured that they were indeed only playing to 100 and they did actually get to that at some point after midnight (or so it felt like). The four mulit-win entrants of Mark, Cindy, Dan and Beth battled it out for bragging rights. Only somewhat distracted by Mark and Cindy arguing about who had not won the trophy in the longest period of time, Dan prevailed. This marks the 5th time of the 11 games played in 2009 that the trophy resided in the Doyle household (3 via Lisa victories).

p.s. to settle the Cindy and Mark argument...Mark 9/08 and Cindy 10/07 (the last of 3 consecutive victories)

2009 trifecta for Lisa

Four full tables of 4 came together on this beautiful day a week before Thanksgiving to battle it out for the highly sought after traveling trophy. Who would have known that this trophy was so coveted by so many and that the documentation of victory meant so much to so many? A few months of unrecorded heart's club history has left many members longing for the days of yore when the events of the monthly gathering were published promptly and accurately (with no editorial liberties!).

While the documentation has been poor lately, November would not go unrecorded (I definitely know who won that, I had to sleep in the guest room so the trophy could be by her side!!). With 4 full tables, there would be no Twaddle taint tonight. You would have to earn the right to be in the championship game...a two game wining streak would be necessary to take home the gold. Fierce battles took place in the prelims and the 4 standing were Mark, Lisa, Beth and Steve K. As she has 2 previous times this year, Lisa proved to be too strong for the competition and a final hand "shoot the moon" sealed the victory. As she grabbed Big Willie (by virtue of her numerous wins this year she felt it was her right to give it a nickname), she said (almost disgustedly): "It really is quite a simple game." Yes, it is Lisa.

Next month is the annual holiday hearts at M&M's. Please cast your vote in the poll question to the right.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Inspired by the recent joy and triumph of the Easter season, Lisa looked at the April meeting of the hearts club as a chance for a rebirth....a new beginning in her hearts life. One could almost still hear the choirs' joyous refrain of "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" as Lisa cradled the trophy against her bosom, a tear slowly caressing her cheek. As her shoulders gently shuddered she looked up defiantly at her "competitors" she had just dominated and said through clenched teeth "I knew I would kick your @#%!" As a 2nd place qualifier and on the strength of an unprecedented 3 moon shoots, Lisa did not appear at all concerned with Mark's "tainted victory" comments knowing that she would be cuddling with the trophy on this evening and that all Mark could hope for was a Dutch rudder (if he was lucky).

As usual there was some interesting conversations throughout the evening that had many wondering "what was he/she thinking?" as the words were coming out of their mouths. Why would Dan describe receiving his new job in such a graphic manner? (see 1st picture) Why would Toni ask Beth if Jan had new furniture? Was this strange questioning of Beth prompted by the lack of any discernible "ass grove"? With a consistent long term average attendance hovering around 12 participants, why are we falling back into old habits when it comes to the next hearts meeting? (refer to both February and June 2009 discussions). All valid questions that we may never know the answers to.

If there were any questions why Beth was the grand pooba, imperial wizard of this little club, she put that to rest on this evening. Despite her irritated and disgusted reaction to the men's lack of knowledge of her plans, she overcame this and successfully rolled out a new game for the losers to play. With little thought involved (although the lack of left verse right knowledge was alarming) play moved along quickly and the reaction of the players indicated this was a good addition for the evening. While I believe Mary and Mark won the 1st two games, this author is not committing to tracking this on a go forward basis if this becomes a regular part 2 of the hearts evening.

I would like to confidently state that our next meetings will be May 16 at Cindy's and June 20th at the Krenek's but there seems to be an underlying movement to pick future dates based on the host's preferred attendees.

A Valentine's Lovefest..for the host!!!

February 21, 2009 meeting: Despite all the controversy and the excessive e-mails going back and forth about how "cute" it would be to play hearts on Valentine's day, calmer heads prevailed and the February meeting took place on the normal night of the month...the 3rd Saturday. We all know the only acceptable deviation is the August lake date. Although there was a conflicting school event, the turn out was pretty good.

The question / answer "Where are Teri (sp?) and Steve?"....."on a bike ride" was asked and answered multiple times during the evening. I think the bike ride reason for missing hearts is just code for wild, passionate intimacy between 2 love crazed kids in spandex shorts. Come on now, just like we don't really believe Mark and Debbie both just coincidentally had wet hair and smelled of Irish Spring, we certainly don't believe bike rides go until 7:30 at night.

One other interesting tidbit from the evening: the refusal of Toni / Tony to play at a table with anything other than 4 people. Everyone thought Dan was the psycho about playing with 4....turns out that we were so taken aback by the balls it took to even suggest this that we all accepted her terms and apparently she has a lifetime exemption. Oh, by the way. Beth won. Congratulations.

March 22, 2009 meeting: Our March meeting was held at Mark and Debbie's and despite the lack of wet hair (see reference above) they did make a big deal out of the fact that they were kid free this evening....hmmmm, what were in those brownies, Mark? Fortunately there were 12 people so we did not have to feel emasculated by bowing down and adjusting the table configuration to accommodate the Tony Testament (see reference above). Debbie, possibly feeling liberated as the hostess of the evening, silenced the room when she declared: "you are a TURD!!" Stunned, we all glanced down at our cards awkwardly praying it was not us that had spurred her to such an outburst. Play soon resumed and the final 4 battling it out for the trophy were Steve, Toni / Tony, Andy and Dan. Ending a year plus long drought, Dan took home the trophy (yes he actually won).

2008 - the Kreneks come alive, 2009 Andy wins

I guess I could not muster up the words over the last few months to adequately describe 2008. The Chinese designate an animal each year that is supposed to symbolize and represent that year's particular ying and yang (am I mixing cultures?). If the hearts club were to do the same 2008 would clearly be labelled the year of the Kreneks. Not only did the completion of the infamous pool allow them to host hearts multiple times, the family took home 25% of the trophies. Sue lost her victory virginity mid year and Steve not only ended a loooonnnng winless streak (although a previous winner, it was prior to the creation of this blog) he strung together the elusive double victory, winning the last 2 months of the year.


Could the first meeting of the year see Steve join Cindy in a threesome...oops, I mean could he match Cindy's high water mark of 3 consecutive victories? With only 8 other competitors to beat (or was it only 7 ?) time would only tell. Toni appeared to declare early in the evening she had other plans than to put up any resistance to Steve's dream. She was going to get mentioned in this blog no matter what and she felt her best chance was to do something totally unprecedented. What could that be, you ask? How about accumulating the most points ever in one game? Well she succeeded, "earning" 135 points! WOW!

After the preliminary round, Steve's hopes were still intact as he joined Dan, Andy and Jan in the finals. Andy, riding the wave of unbelievable cards and some unconventional play (just to mess with Dan's mind) dominated the final round to take home the trophy for the 2nd time in the last four months. Congratulations Andy.


There were a couple of interesting non-hearts activities that are worth mentioning. One was during the ladies graze fest that took place after the first round. As all the non finalists sat around the food serving table gorging themselves. Beth, drinking her 2nd hot Irish coffee, could not understand why she felt the urge to fan herself in the middle of winter. Ummm, consuming hot liquor-laced liquids, I wonder what possibly could have caused the sudden warmth?


The 2nd non-hearts activity involved a scavenger hunt as 2 hormone raged teenagers had to obtain a picture of Lisa handing a feminine hygiene product to one of them. When informed that we did not possess one of these such products, they were off only to return with said product in hand. I'm sure this picture will make a few My Space pages. Overall, a good night with only 9 players and Mark and Debbie showing up later in the evening to share some food, drinks and fun into the wee hours of the night.

King Mark takes the lead

A sickness here, a cross country business trip there, and the end result was a small (but interesting) group of 6. The question: "how will we accommodate playing with just 6?", was quickly solved as Debbie and Toni were voted out, reality TV-style and banished to being food and beverage servers for the final 4.


Who were the final 4 and how would they decide the champion?, was the next mountain to climb. (Note: I am pretty sure that is not the correct sentence structure above but it is a stupid blog, not a college entrance essay, right?). Former champs Cindy, Beth, Mark and Dan argued relentlessly on what combo of games and or mathematical formulas would be used to determine hearts supremacy. Mark, using his home court advantage, as well as his mastery of math, tossed out so many complicated formulas the 3 remaining competitors finally gave in. I think one suggestion involved the Pythagorean theorem as well as Pi. The final verdict?....play 2 games, total the scores and the lowest cumulative score wins.

Dan used the Chicago Cubs strategy.....dominate the regular season (the 1st game) and fade badly in the playoffs (game 2). Mark, knowing the odds makers give home court advantage at least 20 points, calmly approached the night much like last year's Super Bowl champs Giants. Plod along in game one giving no one any reason to suspect you are a contender, then turn it on at the right time and take home the trophy. Congratulations Mark on win number 11.

Debbie Does Round Lake

The annual trip to the lake was fun as usual with good fun, good friends and the battle for the highly sought after traveling hearts trophy. With all the other distractions and things to do (as well as the fact I did not participate in the championship game), my memory of even who played for the championship is not real clear. The fact that the amount of elapsed time from the event to the actual written account of it is excessive may also contribute to the lame / generic recount of the day's hearts events.

All that being said, Debbie played with the determination of a pit bull with lipstick (oh, sorry, that's hockey, not hearts) and dominated the competition much like another lady by the name of Debbie did to the fine gentlemen of Dallas. Bad, 1970's porn references aside, Debbie did earn her 2nd victory, moving out of the "one hit wonder" category and into the "multiple winner" category. Congratulations Debbie.

Editor's note: The pictures have nothing to do with hearts but they are of Debbie's spouse, with whom I kayaked into Community Park to rescue the Park District's pitching machine after the Ike induced flooding.

Sue WINS! Sue WINS!! SueWINS!!!!

Some of the greatest stretches of futility have often made pro sports teams American icons. Something about the frustration and disappointment of another year passing and yet another dream of a championship going unanswered warms the hearts of the masses. Even the non sports fan knew about it when the Red Sox and the White Sox both ended decades of losing and finally grasped the brass ring. One can only imagine the reaction if/when the Cubs are crowned the champs and the chant of "Cubs WIN!!" is screamed from the mouths of people around the world.

Although the people interested in this story may not be as great in pure numbers as in the teams mentioned above, the hearts playing world had just about given up on the prospect of seeing Sue clutching the hearts trophy to her chest and sobbing in pure joy and relief as she finally ended the years of utter failure. Around office water coolers everywhere disbelieving fans could be heard muttering: "Can you believe it?", "Do you you believe in miracles?" "It's been how many years?", "Mark didn't let her win did he?"

As with the Blackhawks being one of the original 6 hockey teams in the NHL, it is only fitting that Sue, as an original member of the Friends and Neighbors Hearts Club, finally got to experience the sweet taste of success. Congratulations Sue on your well deserved victory, going head to head with the hottest player on the circuit (Mark) and bringing him to his knees.

A 1st timer, a virgin as it were!!

Never say never can be the slogan for the Friends and Neighbors Hearts club for 2008. In May 2008, a determined Jan set her sights on losing her victory virginity as she shamelessly flirted with the 12 inches of solid gold pleasure known as our traveling trophy. For years she has heard wondrous stories of how possessing it could change your life. How nice it is cuddling up with it in bed, how it can be strategically placed in a window to taunt a fellow club member, how great it is to become a member of the elite group known as "Hearts champion". Congratulations Jan on beating 3 former champs for your inaugural victory.


Could lightening strike twice in our club in 2 consecutive months? The tension and anticipation in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife as Sue made a rare run at the trophy. She looked jealously upon the subtle smile of satisfaction that graced Jan's face, a look that could only be known by someone who has experienced the sweet smell of success. Sue bared down with one driving thought in her mind: "If she can do it, I can do it!!" Sue played with the determination of a woman at a 75% off shoe sale, deftly dodging points and establishing herself as the one to beat well into the game. Is this the night, everyone thought? Would the other competitors ease up and let Sue have her shot at glory? It looked that way until the man who coined the phrase "tainted victory" could take it no longer and he knew he had to protect the integrity of being crowned a champion. There are no gifts, you must earn the trophy and besides, a victory on this night would be his 10th career win, moving into a tie for the club lead. Mark put his foot on the throat of the other competitors and took the trophy for the 2nd time in 3 months. Good job Mark, better luck next time Sue. (I know Mark, I agree, you need skill not luck).


Previous winners in 2008 were Beth in January and March (her 6th and 7th) and Terri in February (her third). Be sure to answer the poll question and see the new section "Upcoming Dates".

18 months later, the stars are once again aligned!

Was it the group's united Christmas gift to Dan or did Dan simply think it was time to return the trophy back to where it feels most comfortable (Dan's pillow)? All conspiracy theories aside, Dan ended a drought that dated back to pre Bears' Super Bowl season training camp!

The championship table was Cindy (from the table of Mike, Sue and Andy), Mark (Lisa, Steve H., Debbie), 92 point Jan (Dawn,Steve, K.,John) and Dan (Toni, Terri, Beth). Dan held off the furious competition put forth by Cindy and Mark (winners of the previous 4 months) to take home the trophy, giving Jan the queen on the last hand to put her over the top.

This was also our annual Christmas extravaganza dinner and white elephant gift exchange. What would be the "highlight"? Would everyone actually take their gifts home? One of the highlights was a painting (given by Mary) of a topless young lady by an unknown artist. Speculation was that it might have been a younger, more innocent Mary......painted by a hormone-raged Mike? Hmmmm! This painting was the center of additional attention and humor as it was hung above the couch, unnoticed by our hosts, for quite some time. By the way, nice tree topper in the dining room!!

Tainted as it was, Mark breaks through for the men

Despite the late arrivals of Beth, Steve and Sue (rumor has it there was skinny dipping involved!), we had 13 players all here to see if Cindy could run the streak to 4 in a row. However, Cindy appeared to be more set on getting Jan out the game as quick as possible and lost track of the fact that Dan and Mark were advancing to the championship table while she saw her streak come to halt. It was a nice streak Cindy, good job!



We had another marathon opening game... this time at a table of three!!?!!? The lovebirds and Andy trudged their way to a somewhat controversial ending. Who was letting who shoot and why was the queen being given to the high guy? Steve H. ended up being the last one standing. John rounded out the championship table. The all male group ensured the women's 4 month hold on the trophy was ending.



Mark started out quick in the championship round, shooting on the 1st 2 hands. Doesn't anyone know how to pass a low heart? (Dan and Steve!!). It was the consensus feeling at the table that Mark would not even attempt to win since he would not want to suffer the embarrassment of coming to the championship round through the back door and then end up taking home a tainted trophy. Apparently he has no shame and the 52 point deficit was too much to overcome and Mark walked away with his overall 8th trophy. Congratulations Mark!

The trifecta for Cindy - 3 in a row!!

Although no one submitted an entry for September, that does not take away from the fact that Cindy won for the 2nd consecutive month in September. Impressive, yes? How about a 3rd consecutive win in October? A feat only duplicated once prior in the club's lengthy history....I wonder who did that? With the 3 consecutive victories under her belt and 2 months left to play, can she win the unprecedented 4th in a row or possibly get a 5th in a row to tie for the most wins in a year?


The only thing that marred the evening (other than the Illini loss) was the excruciatingly long first round game between Terri, Steve K., Toni and Cindy that took an HOUR and FORTY minutes!!!! Was this a tactic used by Cindy to lull her competition to sleep? Looks like the suggestion of a 1 hour time limit made once upon a time by a wise man may need to be reconsidered.

Do you believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny even though you have never seen them? Rumor has it a certain little construction project may be in the club's near future. No skinny dipping allowed!!!

Year end drought ends - Victory for Cindy

A beautiful day at the lake was enjoyed by the Lisle Hearts club as we had 4 full tables battling for the right to take home the trophy. Despite the crazy driving accusations, the unfrosted chocolate eclair cake and the recent flooded lake, everyone appeared to have a good time as we shared food, drink and cards. Although Steve got to spend his birthday with the club (with a beautiful "pool" birthday cake decorated by Kelsey), there was no victory to be had by the birthday boy.

Cindy overcame the distraction of the late arriving crowd (what time does this 11:00 party begin?) to dominant the final table of Toni (hey, I shoot the moon, I deserve to be here), Beth and Mike. Cindy ended her year long victory drought (7/2006) and moved into sole possession of 5th place in total victories. Congratulations Cindy.

Ok ladies, a little good natured ribbing regarding the men's winning streak (8 months if you had forgotten) and you took it to the extreme (surprise, surprise!). A simple victory would have been fine but no, you had to have 75% of the players in the final game to increase your odds of total domination.

The opening round saw 2 tables of 3 (Beth, Debbie and Lisa at 1 and Cindy, Steve and Andy at the other) and 1 table of 4 which had Dan, Toni, Terri and John. The championship table consisted of Beth, Lisa (the "taint" entry), Terri and Andy who would battle it out for the trophy. Despite having only 1 entry the men were confident that the talents of the 2 time 2007 winner gave them more than enough weapons to continue the men's streak (easy girls, we kept our clothes on!). Club founder (and creator of the new "humiliation due to hearts" necklace) Beth, could no longer handle all the male bravado and took it as a personal challenge to win back the trophy....which she did. As she lovingly stroked the golden beauty in her arms it was rumored she mumbled under her breath "if I came every month there never would have been any streak in the first place."

Congratulations Beth on what could be the beginning of a streak of another flavor. See everyone at the lake.

ps John was recipient of the necklace of shame.

"Tainted my @&#!!! A victory is a victory!"

The great Samual Clemmons, better known as Mark Twain, once told the tale of how a young lad somehow duped a group of friends into whitewashing the fence while he sat back, relaxed and watched as they did his job. The eleven unsuspecting souls who showed up for a friendly game of hearts left Cindy's house feeling as if they were victimized by a Tom Sawyer-like trick as the "victor" for the evening couldn't even win his opening game. He did, somehow, take home the trophy. Sit back and relive the tale of a tainted victory.

Cindy was a proud championship entry from the table of Dan, Debbie and Steve K. as was Steve H. (table of John, Sue and Andy) and Lisa (table of Terri, Toni and Mark). This is where it gets interesting and ironic (interestonic ?). Mark, the proud owner of the phrase: "It would be a tainted victory if you got to the championship round with a 2nd place finish in the qualifying round", had no issue with this when the shoe was on the other foot (his!!). He didn't even hang his head in shame as he played his way to victory over the 3 deserving (?) opponents who had actually won their first games.

I have always been a believer that the goal of the first round is merely to get a seat at the championship table and Mark did this. He also won with the impressive "shoot the moon" on the last hand to squeak out a 2 point victory. Congratulations Mark on your 2nd victory of the year and your new nickname......Mark Taint.

P.S. Has anyone noticed that it has been a men's victory parade for the last 8 months? October 2006 was the last trophy taking for the fairer sex. How long can the streak continue?