Saturday, July 17, 2010

Hearts 101 - mastering the Super Taint

Long known for coining the phrase "tainted victory", Mark had set his goals high for the win every trophy (or as many as he could ) this year to prove to the group who really is the force to be reckoned with when the group gets together each month. There is one simple rule to winning the actually have to make it past the qualifying round and be at the championship table in order to have a chance to win. That is until Mark somehow managed to figure out how to bypass this simple rule. You must be thinking: how is that possible? Here's how he pulled it off. Combining a lackluster performance of his own in the first round with a qualifying effort by his wife, he then made a suggestion that was so outrageous that before anyone could really figure out what was actually happening it was too late: Mark replaced Debbie at the winner's table.

As Mark steadily took the lead, he kept referring to his previous round score of 101 as some sort of a sign. After all, he shouldn't even be playing for the trophy since he had played so poorly in the first round. Yet, here he was schooling his so called "competitors" in the finer points of hearts. I believe he referred to himself as the "professor" and that he was teaching us "Hearts 101". Mark did win the game for the trophy fair and square but I find it ironic that the inventor of the term "tainted victory" could take it even a step further. Not only did he not win the first round to earn his spot at the championship table, he did not even qualify for a tainted victory, therefore earning the new title of SUPER TAINT. Next time you hear Rick James belting out his mega hit I suggest these new lyrics:
He's a super taint, super taint
He's super tainty, yow,
Super taint, super taint!